At what age did you start valuing time more than money?

Discussion in 'The BS Topic' started by 76_TypeLT, Dec 13, 2018.

  1. 76_TypeLT

    76_TypeLT Veteran Member Lifetime Gold Member

    Messages:
    6,389
    Likes Received:
    144
    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2008
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    I ask this in the context of work/career changes as it relates to how you want to spend time doing other things. I feel like I am getting closer to that point at which I would be fine taking a job (and/or doing more investment activities) that pays less in order to have more time, particularly time to spend with my family and time to spend on myself (more exercise, more reading, etc). I feel like I am pulled in different directions that make it more difficult to decide on a course of action. For instance I want to provide for my family and give them a great life. So I won't walk away from a job just because I don't want to work anymore. I actually enjoy what I do (I wouldn't say I LOVE what I do), so it's not that I am miserable at my job. But as my kids get older they will be involved in more activities and I will want to play an active role in that. So something has to give. When I am 65 I think I would be far more regretful about not spending as much time with my kids as I would be about not being able to buy "stuff".

    I am 42, wife is 38 and kids are 3 years and 18 mos. Wife and I both work. So it's not like I am going to make a change tomorrow, but I could see me stepping away from what I do now in 3-5 years so I can be even more involved in my kids' lives. Maybe the better question is how do you prepare for that change? I think managing household expenses becomes even more key when you do a change like this. But changing jobs in your mid-to-late 40s is a little more daunting than in your 20s or 30s. That's why I feel like I need to think about carving something out that does not require employment from another company (aside from my own).
     
  2. danbrennan

    danbrennan Veteran Member Lifetime Gold Member

    Messages:
    3,922
    Likes Received:
    675
    Joined:
    Mar 13, 1999
    Location:
    Brighton, MI
    I don't have kids, so I can't say firsthand how I've dealt with that, but my dad did say he fell off the promotion track at GM, in his early 40s, when he refused to start traveling around the country for work. He liked to take me fishing on the weekends when I was a kid, and there was my mom to think about, and he just couldn't see being away from home a lot. But he didn't change jobs, he just told them he wasn't available to go on the road for extended times. Eventually he cut back on working on Saturdays, or they just stopped asking him to, I'm not sure which(back then, in the early '60s and early '70s, salaried engineers still got paid overtime for working past 8 hours M-F, and Saturdays). But he didn't change jobs, he just didn't get any more promotions(although he did still get raises).

    Times have changed, and there is more casual overtime expected of salaried people these days, especially M-F. I still sometimes manage to get paid straight time for Saturdays, although I try and avoid working weekends. My attitude has generally been I don't mind staying late now and then during the week, since I'm already there at work, but coming in on the weekends cuts into my house time and wife time. Plus it costs me money in gas, etc. I do a lot of my own house and car maintenance, and paying someone to do that work so I can go into work on the weekend and work free for my employer just doesn't make fiscal sense.

    I'm told there is an old saying, something like "no one ever had "I wished I'd spent more time at work" written on their gravestone".
     
  3. The Champ

    The Champ Veteran Member

    Messages:
    5,116
    Likes Received:
    908
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2000
    Location:
    MN
    Back in my early 20's (with a little girl growing up), I worked some pretty long hours. When I worked at the Pentagon (1977 - 1978), on top of my 40 hours for the Army, I had a part time job with a government research and development firm where I logged another 20 - 40 hours a week. You can do that when you're young...

    After I got out of the service, I went in to outside sales, so that I could work smarter not harder. Sales was pretty good to me overall - and I managed my own time. When I needed to - I worked long hours. But I had the flexibility to take off early when I wanted to.

    Shortly after my birthday this year - I quit my full time job (I turned 64) because I really didn't want to work 5 days a week anymore. I found someone that needed a top notch outside sales person - but only 3 days a week. Suits me to a T... I really enjoyed this summer having 2 days a week that I could golf during the day (my wife doesn't golf - so I don't golf on weekends).

    I'm not sure how long I'll continue working, but for now I still enjoy it and it helps prevent me from spending money and lets my investments grow. I'll probably work another couple of years until my wife retires (she's 1.5 years younger) and then we'll start doing some real serious traveling.

    Of course, we do enjoy traveling already... We will be visiting Nashville area in March for a week (we'll go to the Predators/Wild NHL game in St. Paul on Sunday, get up the next morning and fly to Nashville and then go see the Preds and the Wild play again on Tuesday) - possible retirement relocation. In October we're going to Italy for 12 days.
     
  4. bfmgoalie

    bfmgoalie Veteran Member

    Messages:
    2,350
    Likes Received:
    716
    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2008
    Location:
    Gansevoort, New York
    48
     
  5. 1972_Z-28

    1972_Z-28 Veteran Member Lifetime Gold Member

    Messages:
    2,978
    Likes Received:
    215
    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2005
    Location:
    Sugar Land, Texas
    I chose not to be the brown noser voluteering to work late nights and weekends when my son started playing baseball (age 5) and of course other things like band and school stuff thru the years. I was there for all of it and wouldn't have those memories if I had given all to work.
    Now I am in the same position all the brown noser are after almost 20 years at the same job. Laid off.
    Difference is I was there for my son, the other guys have kids that are drop outs and pretty much going no where.
    My son just committed to a private college with a free ride for baseball and excellencent grades.
    Anyhow not sure what you do work wise but I advise don't miss the growing up years of your children.
     
  6. 72'z'steve

    72'z'steve Veteran Member

    Messages:
    1,255
    Likes Received:
    285
    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2000
    Location:
    waukesha wi usa
    When I had enough money to not do those things that weren't rewarding enough for me,Not roofing houses,siding,concrete work anymore.Mowing my three acres was more "rewarding" while the contractor excavated and poured the patio-I fabbed up an adjustable seat mount for one of my tractors recently,took an afternoon when painted.I could have bought one for 30 bucks on ebay and bolted it on but the "therapy" was worth it.When you're short of cash you have to do it if you want it!Its now nice to be able to make the choice. Later Steve!!
     
  7. jimrr

    jimrr Veteran Member

    Messages:
    1,334
    Likes Received:
    307
    Joined:
    Jun 12, 2016
    Location:
    sarasota
    42.
     
  8. 1980RS

    1980RS Veteran Member

    Messages:
    4,465
    Likes Received:
    1,245
    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2006
    Location:
    MN
    At 58 I had 4 stents put in my heart, that's when I realized time is way more important then bucks.
     
    FlaJunkie likes this.
  9. Lowend

    Lowend Administrator. .a car, a man, a maraca. Staff Member Lifetime Gold Member

    Messages:
    15,587
    Likes Received:
    793
    Joined:
    Mar 25, 1999
    Location:
    San Jose, CA, USA
    Working 60+ hours/week s for Enterprise in my early 30's took care of that for me
     
  10. Todd80Z28

    Todd80Z28 Moderator Staff Member Lifetime Gold Member

    Messages:
    11,846
    Likes Received:
    419
    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2002
    Location:
    Northern VA
    I guess I made that choice in my 20s (49 now). Dad was a trucker, always gone, and I don't fault him for that at all, but I decided way back then that I wouldn't be gone all the time once we had children. There's no doubt my career has suffered financially (I left the Navy at 9.5 years for the same reason), but at the same time, I have been around for my kids for the most part. I did the soccer coach thing when my son was young (despite knowing nothing of soccer, it was herding cats really...), I've been involved in their swim teams for 10+ years now. I've been able to attend nearly all their functions, have lunch with them when they were in elementary school, go to concerts, field trips, etc..
    Don't get me wrong, I make a decent living, but it would have been a LOT better had I decided to travel. My wife only works VERY part time (freelance advertising), which was also a choice, but that means that I'm the primary breadwinner, and living in Northern VA, unless you make "baller" pay, one income gets eaten QUICK. I ain't makin' baller money.:)

    I'm at the point now where I'm contemplating cutting back even on this level of work... I'm home, but this is demanding (7-6 most days, calls/emails in the evening/weekends, problems always crowding my mind... that's life in manufacturing) and I'm starting to feel it. We're back in expansion mode, and I think this is my last go-round at this pace.

    You are fortunate to be able to contemplate such things. I have a saying- "Money is like sex and air- it suddenly becomes really important when you aren't getting enough."
    As the kids grow, so do the costs. I thought this would get easier as they grew up, i WAS WRONG.:D Make sure you account for that.
     

Share This Page