Bad jokes..... NWS

Discussion in 'The BS Topic' started by Peck, Aug 7, 2019.

  1. Dave Nelson

    Dave Nelson Veteran Member

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    A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
    "Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

    "Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." "Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

    The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself." The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

    Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" "1955, ma'am." "Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

    Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since
    1955."

    The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

    (Gotta love military time)

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  2. younda

    younda Veteran Member

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  3. younda

    younda Veteran Member

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    Patstuff28 Veteran Member

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  5. 70-camaro

    70-camaro Veteran Member

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  6. Dave Nelson

    Dave Nelson Veteran Member

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  7. Dave Nelson

    Dave Nelson Veteran Member

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  8. carr911

    carr911 Veteran Member

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  9. carr911

    carr911 Veteran Member

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  10. Dave Nelson

    Dave Nelson Veteran Member

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    Little Johnny does it again…!
    WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST?
    The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, 'When you die and go to Heaven, which part of your body goes first?'
    Suzy raised her hand and said, 'I think it's your hands.'
    'Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?'
    Suzy replied: 'Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first.'
    'What a wonderful answer!', the nun said.
    Little Johnny raised his hand and said, 'Sister, I think it's your feet.'
    The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. 'Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?'
    Johnny said: 'Well, I walked into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night. Mom had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
    The Nun fainted!
     

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