Dealing with Family members with Alcohol Addiction

BillyDean7173

Final Six
May 21, 2014
3,490
Hutto, TX
Alcohol abuse and diabetes are a deadly combination. If those two diseases don't kill your brother, the smoking will. Heart disease (seen it), emphysema (seen it), cancer (seen it), amputation from diabetes (seen it), etc. Your brother is on borrowed time. If he wants to save his own life and you want to help him, the time is now. Period.
Bring him to a hospital and have him look at an emphysema patient. Hands and feet swollen from the fluid retainage, skin blue and splitting from the pressure, having your lungs pumped so you don't drown in your own mucus is one helluva sight I guarantee no one would forget.
Take him to see some diabetics that have had their feet and legs amputated. That's where your brother is heading, especially with alcohol abuse.
I wish you the best and hope he'll save himself if he really wants to.
 

Lowend

Administrator. .a car, a man, a maraca.
Staff member
Lifetime Gold Member
Mar 25, 1999
16,809
San Jose, CA, USA
Man - this is tough. I had my pro-music career ended by a similar situation with a bandmate. There's no great answers (from me), but in the entertainment industry, I've been around A LOT of people with addiction issues.

I'm not a big believer in 12-step programs, stats show they are less effective than Cold-Turkey. 100% for sure the person has to want to stop for anything to work. IMHO, one of the most important things for people with substance abuse problems is making sure they have something to do. Sitting around watching TV daily is an invitation for drinking. See if you can get the guy a simple job. Mowing lawns... anything. Keep him busy.

Not to add more rain to the parade, but you should be aware:
When I see tooth loss and behavior like this, I look to Meth/Amphetamine abuse. That stuff destroys the mouth in short order (https://www.mouthhealthy.org/en/az-topics/m/meth-mouth ).
 

danbrennan

Veteran Member
Lifetime Gold Member
Mar 13, 1999
4,823
Brighton, MI
Yeah, I don't see how one can have diabetes and be drinking alcohol for very long, that has to stop. My dad was never an alcoholic, but when he got diagnosed with hypoglycemia in his late 40s, he had to stop drinking alcohol altogether. Of course he had to experiment and pass out twice before he was convinced .. But eventually he was convinced, and he did quit drinking.

I think they can give that Naltrexone once a month as a shot https://www.verywellmind.com/once-a-month-naltrexone-injection-effective-67665 .
 

1972_Z-28

Veteran Member
Lifetime Gold Member
Oct 6, 2005
3,387
Sugar Land, Texas
GL just like most have said he gonna have to want to do something.
Not a fan of the 12 step thing either. I quit cold turkey. 9/7/2020
To many times waking up and wondering who I pissed off or what I f**ked up.
 

carhead22000

oldblue
Sep 5, 2011
1,018
canada
watched my oldest brother whom i loved and respected with all my heart drink himself to death.anytime i mentioned stopping we would end up fighting.watched him go from a handsome strong man juggling girlfriends to a skinny drunk.i wish you the best.do not give up on him.most of all love him.when he is gone you will wonder if you could have done more...just ask me..best of luck brother!!!!
 

bfmgoalie

Veteran Member
Jun 14, 2008
3,241
Gansevoort, New York
Having been through this with someone myself, you can't help anyone that doesn't want help. At best, the best you can do is get your dad to quit enabling him, which will probably be a mountain to climb in itself.

Your brother needs to hit a rock bottom first, and you'd be surprised how low that can be for some people. Tell him that you're there to help if he wants it, but with support only. Does he have a reason to get better, like children? Unfortunately, not everyone can be saved, and not everyone has a reason to do it themselves.
Absolutely correct. My bro was horrendous. Poopfaced all the time. This lasted from when he was 16 to about 65. We moved from one city to another (50 miles) and that seemed to have a stressful impact on him. Found him in a hospital beaten so badly, he was in a coma. Many DWIs. Two marriages. Extremely violent. I hired him to work for me in two different companies. Wasn't doing bad. The second company closed and it started all over again. Loved to play golf. Used to go with him all the time. One year I couldn't make it. He was in an accident and arrest for a few things including DWI. And the alcohol led to severe drug abuse.

When I was living in Florida, he drove down from Atlanta to play. He got out of the car and was totally "cockeyed." I told him he's not welcome to ever come down again if he has drank. He's lived with my sister since 2011. In all honesty, I'm not sure how he's doing.
 

Zstar

Veteran Member
Mar 23, 2014
3,032
Ocala, Florida
As long as your dad is buying the booze there is absolutely nothing you or anyone else can do. He has to accept he
cannot enable your brother or nothing will ever change. Tough love has to be employed.
 

carr911

Veteran Member
Mar 4, 2016
4,370
Tampa, FL
Two of my BF's from HS were in this situation.

One I took to Rehab a few times and I know he went more times. Tried AA, nothing has worked. His wife of 40+ years divorced him, he has very little contact with his daughters, etc. I gave up trying to help him if he didn't want to help himself.

the other I saw at my last HS Reunion and didn't recognize him. He died a few months later
 

1971CamaroGuy

LS Swapped 1971 Camaro
Oct 31, 2004
3,869
As long as your dad is buying the booze there is absolutely nothing you or anyone else can do. He has to accept he
cannot enable your brother or nothing will ever change. Tough love has to be employed.

Yeah that's the thing, when my dad called me back, he simply said my brothers "issue" was his sugar was 84 and he was running to sonic to get him a blast, then blamed the smell and actions on his sugar not being right. Said he had this same issue when he got pulled over for DUI and the cop thought he was drunk......that doesn't make any sense, because when he got pulled over, they checked his blood alcohol level and he ended up losing his license for a while.

Makes me feel like I am going crazy, I know what I smelled and seen. I left that box, with the xbox I got from him yesterday in my truck overnight sealed.....I got in this morning and you can smell whiskey, it's faint...but you can smell it. Even had my wife check and she could smell it too.

I want to help, but there's nothing I can do, my bro doesn't want to admit he has a problem...and dad is covering for him.
 




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