Amen to that Sir. Thank You for and anyone else here doing the same or similar. You are doing what you do for us. And, we are always here to offer "Thanks and Support" whenever we can. God Bless and keep You and Your Brothers safe.
You are professional; you will handle the situation. Your words tell us this. As to the two bastards in the other car, why couldn't a post find them first? Lights off in the wrong lane to evade the police? Bastards.
Sometime, sit dwn with your wife and tell her about it. This will let you deal with it and if it affects you down the road, she'll know why you are doing what you're doing. I was a volunteer for 10 years. I helped peel a car apart where a drunk father pulled in front of a loaded triaxle coal truck that couldn't stop in time. We thought one child was in back but we found two. Just remember, those victims you recover are some body's loved one. You will help those left behind find closure and deal with it so they can go on with life.
I was on our industrial rescue squad for about 25 years. I saw death several times before there was any kind of debriefing. I was 1st on scene when a new grandmother was crushed under a huge roll of paper. I couldn't remain on the squad after that. Still pre-debriefing era. I retired to "life member" status after that. Last year, on our work radios, I heard my guys begin yelling that we had an emergency and needed the squad. I and one of my guys raced into the area and began CPR on a contract employee who was struck by a door blown off of a pressurized tank. We got a pulse several times and even had him breathing for a bit but his injuries were too much to overcome. My boss later told me the man had died and I was asked to tell my guys. I cried almost uncontrollably as I did. We were interviewed by OSHA and the Va State Police. It almost seemed we were being blamed. The seven of us were offered post incident stress debriefing. It helps! Since then I still wake up screaming and flailing to the point where I scare my wife and myself. Enough rambling. I know what you are going thru and I thank you for doing what you do... volunteering no doubt. I feel for you and your fellow squadmen. Take any and all counceling you are offered. Take care.
Talk it out, get together with your brothers after the After Action Debrief and talk it out, they feel what you feel and talking it out, makes people realize what they are feeling is normal. For decades we never spoke about the things we heard, saw and smelled and if you showed emotion or tried to talk about you were "Weak", or "Soft", even after good men, men of the Warrior Mind Set and Creed, either drank themselves to death, had mental break downs or suicide, like my dear friend Pete. You gotta talk it out and if that doesnt help, there are online groups. If you hold that stuff in, it builds up to the point where the box gets full and it affects your whole life. Dont make the mistakes I did, actively mitigate that mental trauma. I wish you all the best man, careers that involve human suffering and trauma can be really dark places but there are ways to mitigate the long term damage. If you ever need to vent, talk or or BS, contact me anytime.
I just want to say thanks again to everyone! This is such a great board I couldn't leave after I sold my Camaro.
I'm not in your field but after being in towing and recovery for a number of years, I've seen my share. I don't talk to my family about what I've seen but nothing helps with that initial mental load then just being with my kids. Something about just knowing I'm loved and have them helps me more then anything. With that said, don't bottle it up. There are support groups as already mentioned. There's no stigma anymore around taking care of your mental health like you would your physical health. I have a few images burnt into my head I wish wouldn't be however there's ways to cope. Don't hesitate to seek a either a peer group or one on one. If you just want a random guy off the internet to listen, drop me a message. Jeff
