Random sayings


Veteran Member
Sep 13, 2013
New Boston, NH
My dad used to say (In Italian) when we wouldn't want to eat something either:

Put it under your nose, or what you save for tomorrow, you save for the dog.


Veteran Member
May 1, 2002
Phoenix, AZ
Happier than a ______ with a bag of _________.

A personality like wet cardboard.

Sweating like a ________ in a carpet showroom.

Sweating like a ________ watching a hot dog eating contest.

Like a 3 legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond.

F-ed up like a soup sandwich.


Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra.

Has the emotional stability of a pregnant teenager.

Wish in one hand and poop in the other. See which one fills up first.

Do you have an extra cigarette? No, I've never got 21 in a pack before.

Do you have any spare change? No, I have kids.

How can you shoot innocent women and children? It's easy. You just don't lead 'em as much.
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Veteran Member
Gold Member
Oct 8, 2020
Calgary, Alberta
While we're on Confucius:

Confucius say man walking through airport door sideways going to Bangkok

Confucius say man who keeps hands in pockets feel cocky all day

Confucius say "who say I say all those things they say I say?"